I got his from facebook

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

way to go clark kent

IT TOOK 9 FUCKING SEASONS FOR THIS TO FINALLY HAPPEN:

epic win

NEVER gets old.

since you probably forgot...

few years back a couple of airplanes fucked us up.

don't you forget it.

pitching a tent

Trust me, the tent is not in my pants...

REI Half Dome. Got it at the sale today, love this tent, grew up in it. no really, i was born inside of one...

sword fight

More DIY videos at 5min.com

some ad on craigs list

am a pretty strong guy. And I can tell that I am much stronger than a lot of you weak women out there. When I go to the gym, I look around at all the girls on the machines struggling to make 25 pounds bounce up and down on the cord as they lift, curl, press or whatever it is they just can't do as well as me.

There are guys there too, but I don't look at them of course because they are dudes.

I look at the weak women with their soft bodies and perfumed flesh. Sometimes I feel like walking over to them and offering to lift the weight for them. Why strain yourself. Let me lift that for you honey. Where? Up and down? I can do that. How many times? Why don't you sit down and rest while I lift it. Such a pretty girl, you sit and watch me.

I feel that if I were to do this, the girl would see that the weight room is a waste of her time in the first place. A better use of time might be to just learn to carry a 30 pound bag of rice in your arms while shopping or sauteeing something - so you won't just have to sit home napping when you have your first baby - you will be able to do stuff. I like girls who do stuff.

Anyhow, as for the gym, I would prefer if the girls only used the stairmaster. Because being strong like me, when I get tired from my long workout, I like to see some in-shape girl butts in tights bouncing up and down the stairmaster. Overall, it is better as well because your butt will help you attract guys like me and seduce me into bed with you. If your butt is nice enough, I might even marry you, or let you cook for me.

And girls on the treadmill are annoying. You can not run faster than me so why try? And heck, the treadmill does not really go anywhere. If I wanted to grab you, I could, whether you were running on speed 4 or 6.5 (which as fast as girls can go (I can run on 7.5 without sweating)). Of course I won't grab you because we have a civilized society and it's not like it was like 50 years ago when men came back from hunting game and just grabbed women and mounted them wherever and whenever and everyone was happy and no one minded. But I think to myself, maybe she is learning to run so that she can flee danger. I guess that's a useful skill for girls who don't have men to protect them. But if you were dating me, I would kick danger's ass. You would not need to run scared you little weakling. You would only need to stand back about twenty feet and watch from behind the nearest wall, while I fight. So why don't you practice that. Get off the treadmill and practice standing behind the wall watching me.

The other thing I notice is all the emotions and the crying. God help me if I have to hear more crying. What, may I ask is the problem, anyway? Did someone say something to someone else or to you? Ah, that's it. That kind of stuff gets you every time. Personally I would be ashamed to be so weak. But I guess if I spent my time talking on my cell phone while at the gym or in the car(like a girl)

trying to have nice hair and a sexy ass - I would cry a bunch as well.

I know you all are weak and emotional - but heck if you are not cute as kittens. So basically I am here to announce that I am available for one of you sexy girls with a nice ass. I could take more than one but its not like it was 50 years ago and all where I would have a bunch of you little darlings in a tent and a few off in another tent having your moon cycles together.

I suggest you write to me and tell me your good qualities and maybe tell me about yourself and all.